Hard to believe but this picture was last summer and boy did we have a great time in Glenwood Springs. How quickly times flies and how things change.
My recovery seems like a yo yo lately. One minute I feel like I'm doing well and the next...well, let just say it sucks!! I have some memory problems so to be honest it feels like I blinked and its almost the new year. As we quickly head into the new year I am reminded of what my year was full of and boy oh boy could I say it was terrible. Yet as I sit and think about it I don't wont to say that, as it was another year with my amazing boys. Watching them grow up and experiencing so much with the three of them. Even though it was a VERY challenging year, I have to say it wasn't terrible. (there we alot of sucky things though. LOL!)
As I sit and reflect on 2014 I cant wrap my head around all that has gone on. I have a kindergartner, a third grader and a fifth grader. My boys have been amazing thru everything and have kept me alert, and striving each day. Keaton and Ryan in La Crosse and basketball. Aiden learning to read and count to 100!! Really it's just the small stuff of snuggling together and making memories. One great memories of this summer was our trip to Glenwood Springs. We stayed in an amazing hotel with a water park, went to there first amusement park where the rides were perfect for there ages and they didn't have to wait in a single line!!! Swimming at night till there little bodies couldn't swim anymore , eating and crashing only to awake and head out each day on a hike thru beautiful woods, One day we even accomplished a 4 hour hike to Hanging Falls. The terrain was tough and wasn't sure if my little Aidan's who's flat footed would make it but boy that kid has guts. He didn't complain and pushed through!! Boy I hope we get to do something like that trip soon as I miss being active like that!
The year was littered for me with health issues that no matter how many doctors I saw no one could put their finger on what was going on, what is wrong??? My health was not great and I was doing my best to carry on but struggling to do it all. The year started just fine but on March 19th it took a turn in which I awoke to be partially deaf in my right ear. I saw several doctors and finally an ear specialist said my inner ear nerve to the brain had died and there was nothing we could do about it. (Now they think it was the first stroke or TIA that i suffered.) Meanwhile I was still trying to balance life. Then in late April I collapsed at work. It was scary and it was in front of my sweet school babies. YIKES!! I was out of commission for almost 4 weeks due to not feeling well. I was able to go back the last few days of the year to enjoy my class and clean up. The summer was focused on trying to find out what the heck was going on. I was so frustrated and desperate to figure it all out. I had a hysterectomy on July 3rd as a doctor felt this may help my issues. I thought I was on the right track as I healed from surgery I started to feel better, more like myself. Sadly that was only about 4 weeks as in Sept. I awoke but this time to seeing double and feeling like I was dying. I suffered a STROKE!! So here I am at the end of 2014 , I have lost my job, my freedom to drive, to control my body as it is a crab shoot at how I'm going to feel each day, emotions that are all over the board and tears that just fall at a drop of a hat lately. I'm tired of therapy that is helping greatly but I really worry about how we are going to afford it now that I've had to go on to different insurance. I wont to feel like me again. I know I have a brain injury and it takes time but I am not patient I'm finding and i've lost alot. I'm impatient to say the least. I am not bitter, I am thankful I am still here each day however I am done with health issues, done with not having control. We take for granted so much, and I know I took for granted my body when it worked well. Now here I am left trying to figure out what the heck happened? How did I get here? How do I get healthy again and not look back? So far I have no answers. I only have faith!! Each day I thank god I'm still here. Each day I try and put my best foot forward and make the day count. Hopeful one day this will all be a very bad memory. All I can be is hopeful and thankful! So bring on 2015!!!! As I look forward to a new year I pray that I can find my footing and achieve good health, along with loving and enjoying times with the ones I love.
Happy New Year to each and everyone!
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